The Follywood Reporter
Satirical News in Hollywood, California
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Natalie Portman struggles to pay student loans

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Natalie Portman, a recent college graduate and expecting mother, like so many young people who opt to attend America's colleges, continues to struggle under the heavy burden of student loans accumulated while pursuing her undergraduate education.

Like many former students, the Oscar® winning actress survived Harvard by working a variety of part-time and odd jobs, including The Other Boelyn Girl, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium and The Simpsons. She saved money by purchasing used textbooks and consuming a diet consisting largely of Ramen noodles and Veuve Clicquot.

Still, she has not lost hope and remains optimistic about the economy in general and job prospects. With the increased awareness about her situation, she hopes one day to get a job in an Adam Sandler movie.

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