Ben, who moved to Los Feliz from Richardson, Texas nine years ago, was awarded his third SAG voucher today for his work in an as-yet-untitled USC thesis film.

"I'm sure there will be a great deal of debate tonight about who deserved what SAG awards," said Ben, "so I hope everyone will remember who it was that stood in a USC dumpster in the pouring rain. I'm an artist: a thespian, a craftsman. It's not like I took a shortcut to this award like my roommate Ron did by doing extra work for Central Casting. I don't want to cheapen this night with interpersonal squabbles, but I do admit I was jealous when my friend Jessica won the Taft-Hartley award a year ago. In retrospect, I do think it speaks to her talent, and not because she slept with the producer, which is what I told everyone last year."