HOLLYWOOD, CA - At the urging of his wife, Wendi, Rupert Murdoch this past week took full advantage of Nordstrom's liberal return policy and returned myspace.com to a Menlo Park Nordstrom store less than a mile from the Sandhill Road M&A offices where, in 2005, lawyers and investment bankers negotiated the News Corp. purchase of the social networking site for 600 million dollars.

Sources close to Murdoch stated the News Corp. CEO was "very satisfied" with the $100.00 gift certificate he received - valid toward any purchase made in any of the retail giant's 100 stores. After leaving customer service, however, the mogul became increasingly disconsolate as he sat quietly for 15 minutes of Mozart's piano concerto #5.

HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a succinct tweet this past week, Lindsay Lohan implored Twitter engineers to increase the 140 character limit to a more civilized number.

"At key moments of epiphany, I feel compelled to digress at length upon those issues which affect me uniquely," she tweeted, "and although I agree the 140 character limit was suitable for the 'proof of concept' staging servers employed prior to twitter's launch, the actual choice of 140 characters is arbitrary, and I think anyone who has designed an SQL schema can attest to that fact," she continued (in her blog).

"I continue to be afflicted by complex emotional states brought on by the challenge of what Sarte might describe as 'the unexamined life'," she continued, "and I suffer under the 140 character limit as I endeavor to express the entirety of same in a manner both poetic and comprehensible to the proletariat whom I am indentured to serve."

"WTF, I shudder to think I am alone in chafing under this arbitrary limitation."

Lohan is repped by Nick Styne at CAA.

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Brody Jenner, son of Olympic Decathlete Bruce Jenner, is set to best his dad's records in track and field now that EA Olympics is coming to the XBox 360.

Sources close to Brody Jenner said the star had been busy beta-testing the game for Electronic Arts and, after just a few days with the Olympic games, expressed concerns that his dad's achievements were like, way, way, over-exaggerated. "I crushed Dad's best score in the triple-jump even before my thumb got tired," he explained, "I can't believe he actually trained for these games. I mean, look at me here chillaxing on the couch: do I look like I need to train for a decathlon? No. I was born ready."

"When I was growing up, I kept hearing about how great my Dad was. World record in this, Olympic gold medal in that! It turns out he was not that great. I mean, was he a reality TV star at age 25? No. He wasn't even that famous. Kim is famous. Dad was a minor TV personality at best."

According to sources close to the family, relations between Brody and Bruce are tense, especially with the recent appearance of EA Online Pass player "Decathlete76". Kardashians close to Dad report he's been spending inordinate amounts of time in the den, no explanation given, and recently suffered a strain in the metacarpophalangeal joints of his right hand. Khloe said Dad's right hand is "totally, definitely his jumping hand" and "does my ass look big in this thong?"

Jenner is repped by Michael Kagan at ICM.

Bob, who recently learned that you're in the entertainment business and have access to major stars like Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, has a great idea for a vampire movie. Bob's movie idea is a totally new take on the vampire movie genre. It's completely original, something nobody has ever thought of before.

Not only is Bob willing to sell you the idea so that you can make it into a huge Hollywood movie, but all he wants is around a million dollars.

HOLLYWOOD, CA (AP) - Remember last week when Jen was like, "That never happens to me." -- I know, right? Anyway, she was totally in line at the Quickie mart at the corner of Franklin and Beechwood waiting to pay and that totally hot guy from that TV show drove up to get gas and he totally got in line right behind her.

She didn't know what to do so she texted me from the line and she was all "This never happens to me! What should I do?". And I'm like, "Stop texting me and talk to him." But since that totally never happens to Jen, she like totally didn't know what to do. So she pretended she didn't know him.

As soon as she got back in her car she called me and she was like, "That never happens to me!"