Endemol today announced they would be partnering with Glaxo-Welcome to produce a new line of designer drugs aimed at consumers.

"Many have suggested that the name Endemol would be appropriate for a rectal suppository, but we beg to differ," said Endemol chairman David Goldberg, " And as the popular saying suggests 'television is the opiate of the masses', so we decided to create a product that literally embodies that expression. Our new Endemol ® Anti-Depressant (derived from Sertraline hydrochloride) is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. Initial studies show that this product dramatically increases the enjoyment level of television viewers."

The new Endemol drug will initially be available only as part of a therapist-prescribed treatment. Samples of the new product are being distributed to consumers along with their Nielsen's welcome kit. Taking Endemol in its current form requires a hypodermic syringe and medical tubing (similar to heroin), but an easy-to-swallow caplet is on the way.