Nielsen Media Research, citing growing concerns that their television rating system was no longer tracking a statistically inaccurate sampling of American consumers, today announced details concerning their Nielsen 2.0 rating system which they planned to unveil at COMICON this past month. The new system will feature in-home monitoring provided by a highly intelligent team of Tic Tac Toe chickens who have never, ever, lost a match of Tic Tac Toe. Beta testers for the new system indicated it gave a much more accurate assessment of viewing habits, but early prototypes had problems with fowl odors.

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